This article is part of #medscilife, an ongoing conversation about home/work balance for medical researchers. On Thursday 27 November 2014, we held a Twitter chat on this subject - catch up by reading our Storify of the conversation.
I am the mother of two pre-school children, a past policy Intern at the Academy of Medical Sciences, MRC-funded PhD Student and (out of programme) Gastroenterology and Hepatology Trainee.
I work part time, 80% or as I once calculated whilst feeling sentimental, <50% of the waking hours of the children.
We are talking about work life balance (or #medscilife) at the Academy and so I thought I would open the discussion with some thoughts. It feels a bit uncomfortable to be honest. I am so used to compartmentalising my life and protecting my time with my family from the demands of work and my working time from the demands of home, that this rare conflation of the two is slightly unsettling.
But there is power in conversation and community and this is an issue of great importance. How do we balance work and family commitments? How can we change the structures and cultures in academic medicine which present barriers to advancement for those with caring responsibilities? How can academic medicine draw on as deep and broad a talent pool as possible?
In thinking about my #medscilife, I can identify challenges but also opportunities, things that make life harder and those that really help. These are necessarily personal and subjective, and are certainly no kind of guide for a successful #medscilife. So what do you think?
Challenges
- Letting go of milestones. I have found it really difficult to let go of milestones; not to compare myself with friends from medical school who are settling into their new consultant jobs and colleagues on my clinical rotation who seem to be racing towards their CCT while mine is disappearing over the horizon. However I think it is important to come to terms with this, accept that the ‘slow down’ in career trajectory is the pay-off for less than full-time working and maternity leave and yet maintain ambition for the eventual career destination.
- Accepting compromise and dealing with feelings of inadequacy in all areas of life. This is the big one. Compromise is difficult and yet a necessary part of performing multiple roles.
- Dealing with the real or imagined perception that I take work less seriously. I have heard a few comments about female doctors “only do research to have babies”, that “babies and research don’t mix”, or the gem that “you women are so unreliable, always taking time off to have children”. The decision to have a family does not reflect adversely on the perceived commitment of men to their working life and that should be the case for women too. I know all this and yet I can’t quite shake this slightly apologetic feeling.
- Emotional challenges returning to work. I have personally found the return to work after my first period of maternity leave the most emotionally challenging period. Although those feelings never disappear completely, it has become easier to come to work now I know the powerful bond with my children has not been damaged.
- The organisation and cost of childcare. Childcare for two preschool aged children in London costs more than a research fellow salary per day, and organising it is time-consuming.
- Devastation of my social life This speaks for itself. I don’t get out much anymore. I’m hoping to reclaim this at some point!
Positives
- Maintaining dual passions for motherhood and work. I love work and I love being a mother. Maintaining these dual passions keeps me balanced, and makes for a happy family life.
- Supportive partner and family. I have found shared parenting with a supportive and understanding partner to be key. I am also indebted to my Mum and Mother-in-Law who travel miles to regularly help us out with childcare.
- Understanding colleagues and supervisor. My supervisor has been very understanding and supported my less than fulltime working, and offered flexibility to help me organise childcare. Colleagues are similarly understanding. This has really helped me continue to feel a valued team member despite time off for maternity leave and less than full time working.
- Improved efficiency. While I recognise that time is a finite resource and compromises must be made, what can be achieved within a fixed time is not a zero sum game. I have become more efficient and am better at prioritising work. The flexibility of academic work, also means that my evenings are well utilised.
- Recognising that support and role models are out there. Reassuringly there are loads of fantastic role models out there. Models of women with children who are successful medical academics or as you could also look at it, women with busy career lives who are fantastic mothers.
- Coffee